Presence

The Essence of Ed

My father read the following on behalf of the family at my grandfather's funeral on Sunday, November 9. The immiediate family provided input, it was compiled by my Aunt Mary.

Mom, Larry, Jenn and Doug, other family, and friends. On behalf of my father-in-law, Ed Chesler and his family we thank you all for being here today. Dad would also want to thank all his family, caregivers, and friends that helped him over the past few years get more out of life than he ever thought possible and for being here today. A special thanks also for the Linders for helping with today. Most of all, he would want to give a special hug of love and devotion to his beloved Louise.

THE ESSENCE OF ED

Yisroel Zvi ben Yoel, Edward Hirsh Chesler, was a son, a brother, a pharmacist, a brother-in-law, a pharmacist’s mate in the Coast Guard, a husband, a dad, an uncle, a father-in-law, a Zaydah and, most of all, a dear friend to many. The world needs more Ed Cheslers. His integrity, compassion and humor made him a man people were proud to know. There are givers and takers in the world, and Ed Chesler, the boy from Cleveland, was a giver. He will be greatly missed and remembered by all of us here and by many that could not be with us today.

Jenn and I were married in this beautiful Temple; in fact we were the first ones to be married in the new sanctuary. This past September, we were back here in the Temple for Ed’s last Rosh Hashanah. His faith, being part of the Jewish community, was very important to him. Even though he was in a wheelchair, he wanted to attend services. So many members of the congregation came up to him to say hello and wish him well this past Rosh Hashanah. The look of respect on the faces of the well wishers was a testimony to Ed’s character.

Cleveland
Eddie, his hometown nickname, was born on January 24, 1917 in Cleveland, Ohio. The son of Yale and Rose Chesler, he grew up in a three-story, two-family house with relatives all around. Cleveland was full of Cheslers back then, and they were a close-knit family. Eddie’s father, Yale, left a shtettel in the Russian Empire to avoid the draft. He taught his children about devotion to family and the importance of faith. In fact, Eddie considered becoming a rabbi and almost went to Yeshiva.

You can take the boy out of Cleveland, but you can’t take Cleveland out of the boy, and Eddie was very proud of his roots. When asked where he was from, he would always reply, “Cleveland, Ostend Avenue.” He was a lifelong fan of the Cleveland Indians, which is almost as frustrating as being a Red Sox fan. As kids growing up in the 1930s, Eddie and his brothers – Bernie, Marvin and Sanford – learned their strong work ethic selling hot dogs and cokes for pennies in the summer at Municipal Stadium.

Love Story
If Ed’s life were a tapestry, there would be one shining, golden thread woven into the whole. And that thread is Louise. Theirs is a love story that spanned 60 years, beginning in 1942 when Louise, a recent graduate of Ohio State University, attended a USO dance in New London. Her girlfriends had to convince her to go – dating sailors was something nice girls didn’t do. But after surveying the guys in the room, Louise spotted Ed. She thought he was really cute in his Coast Guard uniform – not as cute in street clothes, but definitely cute in a uniform. They dated all that summer. When Ed went to officer training school at Avery Point in Groton, they couldn’t see each other for a month, but they talked for hours on the phone – Louise sequestered in the phone booth at her family’s home on 85 Thames Street in New London.

The couple was married on February 10, 1943 in Ft. Lauderdale when Ed had a 48-hour furlough. Their parents and Louise’s sister, Esther, were in attendance at the only synagogue there for the wedding. They honeymooned in Ft. Lauderdale, just Ed, Louise, and Louise’s new mother-in-law Rosie – who stayed behind for two weeks after her family went back to Cleveland. While stationed in Ft. Lauderdale, Ed did entrance patrol and rode a white horse up and down the beach, looking for German landings.

Louise became pregnant and gave birth to twin sons Ronnie and Larry while Ed was in Charleston, South Carolina at the Citadel for training. At a baseball game there reality hit Big Ed. He turned to the gentleman next to him and said, proudly, “I’m the father of twins.” The man, obviously more interested in the game than the beaming, young father, replied, “So?” A daughter, Jennifer, followed the boys five years later, and a fourth child, Doug, was born in 1954.

Throughout their 60-year marriage, Ed and Louise remained the best of friends. Each night, when they retired, they would talk over their day with each other. They always took their meals together and made a point to take several trips alone, leaving the children with family. I wonder how many loving “Yes Dears” Ed said to Louise over all those years.

The Best and Worst of Times
Ed was uniquely blessed to live such a long life surrounded by loving family and friends. He saw the best that life has to offer, but he also suffered terrible loss. When the twins were just seven years old, Ronnie was struck with polio and died. In the face of such loss, Ed found strength and healing in his faith and the Jewish community.

Family Man
From his old-world and Yiddish-kite parents, Ed learned the importance of family. He was an active father who pitched in to cook, shop, clean and take care of his children when Louise returned to school to earn her master’s in teaching. By his example, Ed taught his children respect and integrity. Jenn remembers learning to dance by standing on her father’s feet as a child. When his son Doug pitched at a Little League game, Ed was so nervous, he could hardly watch. Though he could be rigid in his beliefs, he earned the respect of his children, grandchildren, and daughters-in law and son-in-law too.

Ed was a doting Zaydah, and made it a priority to be a positive part in the lives of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Zaydah relished conversing with Greg and Benj in Hebrew and especially enjoyed those long Seders in West Virginia.
He never expected to live as long as he did. He called his youngest grandson, Aaron, his “bonus,” and although he did not live to see Aaron’s Bar Mitzvah, he was overjoyed to hear him practicing to read the blessings from the Torah. (Though he did have to check and make sure that Aaron was actually reading, and not just memorizing, the text.)

Business Man
The boy from Cleveland made a place for himself in his new Connecticut home. As co-owner and pharmacist at Bridge Plaza Drug Company, Ed became part of the community and fabric of Groton, earning the esteem of his customers, employees, and colleagues. He also was an integral part of his synagogue, serving as president of Congregation Beth El in the ‘60s. Dad also liked to listen to and sing Jewish music and was a member of Temple choirs for many years both here and in Florida.

Ed was a man of integrity; he knew right from wrong. As his son Larry says, “He had a sense of justice and decorum, and people respected him for that.” Though Ed worked long hours, seven days a week at the pharmacy, he never complained. He cared about his customers and his employees, as they cared about him. Family often bump into former Pharmacy colleagues and customers who recognize the Chesler name and want to pass along a warm greeting to their friend Ed Chesler.

Ed was not a showy person – never overwhelmed by material goods or the importance of possessions. However, he was a dapper man. He could give lessons on the proper way to combine plaids, polyesters and paten leather; and did so starting in the 70s, … and the 80s, … and the 90s. He was true to his value system and was never persuaded by what was popular or ostentatious. Ed knew the difference between right and wrong, and his steadfast adherence to his values earned him the admiration of his family and community members.

Ches had a dry and subtle sense of humor that reminded me of the way Bob Hope would deliver his short to the point punch lines that bent you over in laughter. He was known to tell salesmen calling on him at Bridge Plaza, “Can’t talk to you right now -- too busy; come back when you can...have a nice summer!”

In the last couple years, Ed relished stories about his great-grandson, Ezra. Every day, when Jenn would call to say hello, Zaydah would ask “Tell me an Ezra story!” When Big Ed died this Thursday, his great-grandson Ezra took the news with maturity uncharacteristic of a 4-year-old. After crying, Ezra said, “I sure am going to miss Zaydah.”

Ed Chesler enjoyed his family and friends and touched many people’s lives with his wit, charm, sense of humor, and friendship. We all are going to miss Ed, Eddie, Big Ed, Ches, and Zaydah.