Presence

I was pretty hot under the collar after the JT published its article about Shapiro. While I agreed that the word had to get out, I had an issue with their digging up this man and putting his living family members in the "line of fire". I also had an issue with the graphic nature of the article but that is not my point on this post.

I am horrified by this new article in the Forward. Don't anyone tell me it isn't pure Lashon Hara. It isn't even correct so that argument goes out the window. What propose does it serve, all of the world that reads the Forward now knows that 20 years ago a "Rabbi" died who was an offender. And now they have wrong information about him.

NEW TOPIC - and this is for my own information, I am curious. I wrote in a previous comment under a different posting, that the Lanner case a number of years ago got me more active in preventing this kind of abuse. My question to all of those who said we need to do something or Baltimore needs to do something, what have YOU personally done to prevent this from happening in the community or to your own children. What real effect did the BJT articles make in your life regarding this issue. This is a real question; I hope to see your answers.

I took the letter from the Va'ad Harabbonim and distributed it in my shul in Silver Spring.

I found out about the article early, and start publicizing it online as soon as possible. I know you didn't like the article, but I thought it was important to read.

I don't have kids. I'm not in a position of authority (unless "assistant secretary" on the shul board counts). But I do what I can.

I grew up in Baltimore, fam went to shomrei- left when I was 21 and have been out of the community for a bunch of years now. I happened to be in Baltimore when R' Gottlieb spoke about this. I think since the article ran, people are finally starting to talk- and not just in Baltimore; I am hundreds of miles away. I dont hear "whats wrong with Baltimore", I hear, wow, is this going on in our community, has it ever, how would we handle it. I think what we can do is talk about it. I definately heard of cases from my friends back in High School one in particular, and no one would have dared to go public. I think that by talking about it, the Baltimore community actually has the chance to come clean and confront these problems. Its the first step in zero tolerance and respectable standards and we can learn a lot about community leaders by their response to this- Yes, his family is embarressed and yes, I'm sure it could have been published without the lashon hara - but Phil Jacobs has done much more good than harm.

Good Job DMZ, at least you took some action. I truly am not surprised by the lack of response. It is easy for everyone to criticize the local religious authorities but when it is time to take some action, many people just sit back and don't do a thing. Here are my suggestions.

1. Ask questions - ask your principal what your school does to prevent this from happening. Your interest shows the principal you are taking an interest.

2. Get on the board of schools, youth groups, camps, boy scouts etc. Most are looking for people to provide input on a wide range of issues. You can really be in a position to make change happen.

3. Talk to your kids. I am willing to bet that the kids who got abused did not have a conversation with their parents on appropriate and inappropriate touching. This is the fault of the parents. If a child feels comfortable in knowing what is ok and what isn't and that there will be no judgments of the child should they report abuse and no matter what the abuser says the child will be safe, the child will have an outlet to report the incident or even a concern. It is easy to blame schools, Rabbis, and others but we have to educate our own kids. We have to have enough time for our own kids so they know we are available.

The abusers deserve to be severely punished. Those who take no action cannot complain later.

If people who read the BJT only got upset enough to start carrying on about Rabbi Heinemann, other Rabbis, or schools, then they missed any good the JT could have done.

Where are all of you? What have you done to protect our kids?

To all the mothers out there who may be fighting in the court system to keep their children away from abusive husbands. Elliot Pasik is known be an advocate for father's rights.