Presence

Just before the last days of Pesach, congregants of Shomrei Emunah received an email from R. Gottlieb that he would be addressing the entire shul on "a very important and timely issue confronting our community," over Yom Tov. Speculation abounded as to the topic, but most thought the issue at hand was sexual abuse in Baltimore community.

The second day of Yom Tov, R. Gottlieb did indeed devote his drasha to the topic of sexual abuse. The drasha came in advance of a letter that is being sent to the Baltimore community with a statement adopted by the Va'ad HaRabbonim of Baltimore on the issue of sexual abuse.

Since taboo and silence are the two greatest enablers of abuse, R. Gottlieb asked us to resist our natural inclination to do several things:

• To deny allegations are true.


• To hide behind the laws of lashon hara or chillul Hashem (*).


• To minimize the damage done to those that are victimized.


• To not talk about the issue of sexual abuse with our children.

R. Gottlieb acknowledged that, in the past, cases of abuse have been mishandled because of giving in to these natural inclinations, and that, even if the intentions were from a good place, that this resulted in even greater damage.

The Va'ad is in the process of putting together a systematic approach that will delineate proper behavior in an effort to prevent sexual abuse, such as guidelines for schools and educators. As an example, the Va'ad is looking to the city of Chicago, which recently formed a special beis din to address claims in an open and forthright manner. This will hopefully help prevent incidents of sexual abuse from occurring, as well as help ensure an open process of addressing incidents that do arise, God forbid. There is also the very real concern of false accusations, which, R. Gottlieb also mentioned, has occurred as well.

More details will be available in the letter coming sometime this week. R. Gottlieb is also in the process of formalizing his remarks and will make them available to those that are interested. My thoughts will follow in a separate post.

* By "ignoring" the laws of lashon hara, it is my understanding that R. Gottlieb did not mean that issues of abuse are open for public discussion, nor that one should readily believe anything that is printed in the press or on the web. Rather, if one knows of a case of abuse and does not investigate, or does not report it, or does not inform others of the potential danger, out of a fear of spreading "lashon hara," they are in error. There is no issue of lashon hara if you are protecting an innocent person from damage. This is commonly applied in the realm of shidduchim.