Presence

Just got back from Jew Day at Hershey Park. I always relish the opportunity to learn new things from my co-religionists, most especially in areas where we've historically been envelope-pushers. I am referring, of course, to 3000 years of beautiful history of Line Cutting. It seems that ever since the Tribe of Ephraim tried to sneak into Israel, we Jews have been unable to wait our turns. A few novel approaches to this age-old tradition I observed today:

• The "B'diavad" (or "What's Done is Done") Approach: An entire family, strollers and all, cuts the line to get into the park because they prepurchased tickets and feel this entitles them to bypass the collection stage of the ticketing process (I'm not sure why the ticket office is, in this case, responsible for both selling tickets on site and collecting them upon entry, but that is immaterial). When confronted by the ticketing officials, the husband offers, "Well, it would be too much work for us to backtrack to the ticket booth at this point, so you might as well let us go through without collecting our tickets." This, of course, does not work, so we all have to move out of the way while this family moves back upstream.


• The "Go Stand with Your Cousin" Approach: We're in line for the Space Ship ride, behind a few people, but clearly up for the next go-round. Then, right as the ride is emptying out, some mother shtupps an extra six brothers/sisters/cousins/neighbors who've just come off another ride (so they weren't waiting in line) up to the front to stand with the one kid who was "holding their place." This results in my kids, and many kids behind us, having to wait for another go-round, as there are no longer seats left after the Shmuckenstein family invaded the line.


• The "In-The-Out-Door" Approach: This one was my personal favorite. Most rides have an in door, and an out door. You can usually tell the difference by looking for a line. If there is a line, this is the in door; if not, it's probably the out door (or a sucky ride). So we're waiting in line on the Tilt-a-Whirl, and as the ride clears out, a family walks in the out door and proceeds to occupy one of the cars. The ride operator walks over and explains the whole in/out situation, and is rebuffed by the family partriach, who offers an explanation: "I looked at the in-line, and saw that, had we walked all the way around, we would have gotten on without waiting, so we didn't think we needed to bother. We weren't going to deprive anyone of their fair turn." He then proceeded to patronize the ride operator addressing her by name and saying very sarcastically, "No, I understand. You're just doing your job, playing by the rules. Sure, you're the first one all day, but you are right."

To be fair, after I told the "Go Stand with your Cousins" guy that his behavior was "disgraceful" (the steroids I'm taking for my colitis cause insomnia; insomnia, at least in me, causes orneriness, and I was well beyond ornery by the time I got to the park), the husband came over to me and apologized (he said, "I thought about it, and you're right." Well, duh). But I was happy that he apologized. And all in all, the day went better than I expected, and the kids had a good time, which was the most important thing.