Presence

Kaddish has always been somewhat of an enigma to me; I never had a good understanding as to why it functions as a sort of multi-purpose prayer. On the one hand, we use it to seperate between sections of davening, which, despite the fact that it is in the midst of the prayer service, is a bit of a mundane application. On the other hand, we say Kaddish while in mourning for a parent, a usage that has tremendous theological significance. Yet again, we recite Kaddish upon finishing a tractate of Talmud.

This morning, while I was in shul with my father, who is saying Kaddish for my grandfather, I realized a connection that, I think, reconciles the apparent multi-faceted role that Kaddish plays. We say Kaddish at the completion of something, whether that is something we have been studying, a section of the prayer service, or a life. At somethings completion, we can clearly delineate in time our experience of that thing, and by connecting it to God, elevating it beyond the temporal, into the realm of the infinite.

In the past, I viewed the mourner's Kaddish as a sort of affirmation of faith; once bereaved, we must affirm, for a period, the greatness of God in order to bring about an acceptance of our loss while at the same time reconciling with the One who brought it about. I always had problems with this, however. Why, then, would Kaddish be only a real mitzvah by the children (meaning, how come a spouse would not say for an extended period as well)? Both my grandparents were married for over 60 years; surely my grandmothers would need to mend fences with God just as much, if not more, than my father or mother?

If, however, we view the Kaddish as a statement made upon a life's completion, it makes sense. The children are the ones that must carry on after their parent has passed; it is through them that the memories of the deceased will carry on, through them that the good deeds done by the deceased while in this world will take on a timeless nature as they bear fruits in the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Only through the deeds of the children does a finite life of an individual begin to grasp at infinity.

[Note: the halacha by a convert, and whether or not he mourns for his non-Jewish parent, may fit very nicely with this. hm"y, vtz"i, vacmo"l]