Presence

Will it Float?

I've seen a bunch of links to stories about an expedition to Mt. Ararat to search for Noah's Ark (check this Blogdigger search for "ark" for a quick list).

"Right....What's an Ark?"

I'm reminded of an old shtikel by Eliezer Bulka that calculates the weight of the Ark, using information from various commentaries.

"Right...What's a cubit?"

And who could forget the giant steel Ark being built, or rebuilt, as it were, off Rt. 68 in Western Maryland. I'm guessing that this version won't float. Just a hunch.

I've driven by this awe-inspiring mass of girders several times over the past few years; construction seems to have slowed to an imperceptible crawl. Just goes to show you, nothing motivates like good old Fear of Death. Of course, it took Noah 120 years, and the people laughed at him then. Who's laughing now, hot shots?

heterodox

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for 04/28/04:

heterodox \HET-uh-ruh-doks\, adjective:
1. Contrary to or differing from some acknowledged standard, especially in church doctrine or dogma; unorthodox.
2. Holding unorthodox opinions or doctrines.

Historical Fictions

When I read The Da Vinci Code, I was at once intriguied and skeptical; while the theories presented in the book were fascinating, little red lights started going off as well. While I'll admit to being close to ignorant of a lot of the history the book deals with, the small bits of Jewish lore that, as far as I know were incorrect, led me to believe there might be some issues with the rest of the information. Turns out, others think so too.

That is not to say that parts of the book might not be correct; some of it likely is. The greater issue, I think, is the massive amount of people ready and willing to believe, with religious-style leaps-of-faith, anything popular as fact, particularly when the subject matter touches the ever-present and possibly tedious, such as history or Bible studies, where levels of ignorance are at their highest. The general public makes no effort in researching the issues presented, preferring the spoon-feeding of pop-culture. This is so dangerous, it makes me dizzy just thinking about it.

On the other hand, Dan Brown's got a dynamite formula; say what you will about the books' veracity, they are great stories, and Brown does an admirable job of building multi-faceted puzzles and plots. And for those who do take history seriously, the books are excellent starting points for learning about new topics (after reading Angels and Demons, I have a new found appreciation for Roman sculpture - just where are all those statues pointing, anyways?). There's got to be a way to transform my knowledge of Judaism into a best-selling thriller. Perhaps an American Yeshiva bachur visiting Israel teams up with a young, attractive Bar Ilan graduate student to uncover the centuries-old mystery behind the lost volumes of the Babylonian Talmud, which contain the long-lost commentaries on Tractate Demai, which relates the rise to power of the Pharisees and details their often-rumored but never-confirmed fabrication of an "Oral Law," essentially hijacking Judaism from its traditional roots and subjugating the masses of Israel to their will?

History be damned, I want the money.

Coming Attractions

Via the Shomrei Bulliten:

The Seventeenth Series of the Ner Tamid Congregation Omer Lectures for 2004 presents:
Rabbi Dovid Gottlieb
"Halachic Guidelines for Choosing a Political Candidate"
Monday, April 26, 8:15pm at Ner Tamid Congregation

Also, coming up at Shomrei:

May 8 - Rabbi Marc Penner (Young Israel of Holliswood- Queens)
May 15 - Rabbi Eliezer Lachman (Yeshivas Ner Yisrael)
May 19 - Yom Yerushalayim
May 25-26 - Comprehensive Shavuos Learning Program
June 11-13 - Banquet Weekend SIR Program with Rabbi and Mrs. Michael Rosensweig

And, finally:

UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE THE FILM "ADJUSTING SIGHTS" - Motzei Shabbos, April 24

For those who missed the first showing of "Adjusting Sights," a film adaptation of Rabbi Chaim Sabato's award-winning novel on the Yom Kippur War, the Torah MiTzion Community Kollel and Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation will be showing the movie on Saturday, April 24 at 9:45 PM at BJSZ. Admission is $5. Please contact Beth Bluman at 410-764-1650 for more information.

Update: I missed the first and the last; if anyone went, please leave your thoughts in the comments.

Come on over to our house, Hon!

The Barblog - Senator Barbara Mikulski's Typepad Blog (via TheBaltiblog).

"That was me and six other guys."

In The Big Lebowski, The Dude tells Maude Lebowski that, among other things, he co-authored the Port Huron Statement (the original, not the compromised, second draft), and:

Dude: You ever hear of the Seattle Seven?
Maude: Mmm.
Dude: That was me, and, um, six other guys.

Maybe I'm alone here, but I figured this was just witty banter. Turns out that Jeff Dowd, the inspiration for the character of The Dude, actually was one of the Seattle Seven!

No word yet on the Port Huron statement, or the Metallica Speed of Sound Tour.

small beer

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for 04/21/04:

small beer, noun:
1. Weak beer.
2. Insignificant matters; something of little importance.

adjective:
Unimportant; trivial.

Poor Al

Hopefully the Gores won't stumble upon The emerBlog. I mean, Al goes and invents the Internet, only to find his closest friends using it against him.

It's like another Emerson once said, "Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind."

He also said, "I hate quotations." Go figure.

Parsha Keywords - Shemini

I've been lax on Parsha Keywords, mostly due to lack of time. This week, however, a pattern jumped out at me, so clear and compelling that I had to get it down.

The word of the week is:

Any and all forms of Ochel (eating).

As a support for this, I'll point out that the entire Parshas Shemini (Lev. 9-11) is about eating. A quick rundown:

• 9:11 - A sin offering that was burnt instead of eaten; only one of its kind (cf. Rashi).
• 9:24 - "And there came forth fire from before the LORD, and consumed (va'tochal) upon the altar the burnt-offering and the fat;
• 10:2 - And there came forth fire from before the LORD, and devoured (va'tocahl) them [Nadav and Avihu], and they died before the LORD."
• 10:8-11 - warning to not perform Avodah while intoxicated.
• 10:12-20 - Moshe's disagreement with Aharon, Elazar and Itamar about which sacrifices they should eat.
• 11:1-47 - Laws of Kosher animals.

That's the entire parsha. I'll open up the floor for comments; I'll post my thoughts later in the week when I've had time to collect them.

A few random bits of data to consider: Nadav and Avihu are mentioned one other time in the Torah, in Ex. 24: "And upon the nobles of the children of Israel [Nadav and Avihu] He laid not His hand; and they beheld God, and did eat and drink" (cf. Rashi there). Also, "Vayahi B'yom Ha'Shemini" is midrashically interpreted as referring to the eigth day of Creation (cf. Midrash Rabbah). I needn't point out the repeated usage of words like "havdalah" and "kodesh," which inexorably suggest the concept of da'as", either, right?

troglodyte

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for 04/17/04:

troglodyte \TROG-luh-dyt\, noun:
1. A member of a primitive people that lived in caves, dens, or holes; a cave dweller.
2. One who is regarded as reclusive, reactionary, out of date, or brutish.

How to fold clothes

[via Blogdigger Media]

Japanese, apparently, is the international language of clothes folding. I don't understand a word in this video, but "How to fold clothes" just spoke to me. I mastered clothes folding after only one viewing!

On an unrelated note, it's cold in here.

Long Live [Insert Blog Name Here]

Blogging has become a regular part of my life. When contemplating a particularly "blogable" topic, I often find myself composing a post in my head. I have no doubt that I will continue to blog for many years to come. The idea of a blog that is five, ten, or even twenty years old, is a bit mind-boggling. Most blogs out there are, at most, two years old; very few were around before then, and if they were, they most likely weren't blogs yet. How will our current blogging platforms handle five years of data? What about ten years? Blogging platforms notwithstanding, five years is a heck of a lot of information to sort through if you wan't to pull something up quickly (thankfully, some guy has been working on a thing called Blogdigger...).

This all points to the fact that a little pre-planning can save a whole lot of time later on. There's lots of little things that could be called good blogging practices; one I've been wanting to implement for a while has to do with the URL structure for individual entries. By default, MovableType generates a URL that looks like this:

http://presence.baltiblogs.com/archives/001045.html

The page name, 001045.html, is generated by MovableType, corresponding to the number entry of total entries on this server (which means something weird is going to happen when Baltiblogs goes over 999,999 posts). You'll notice that this URL tells you absolutely nothing about the entry it points to.

Starting today, however, with a little help from Maphet, I set MovableType to generate a new URL for each entry composed of the date of the entry and the title. A new URL looks like this:

http://presence.baltiblogs.com/2004/04/09/pesach_food_spotlight_t_abrahams_crispyos.html

Now, by just perusing the URL, I get information about the date and title of the entry. This adds just a tiny bit more information to each of my blog posts, making my wisdom just a bit more accesible for future generations.

To set up your MovableType blog to publish your archives this way, go to Weblog Config/Archiving/, and for Individual Entries, replace the blank text with:

<$MTEntryDate format="%Y/%m/%d/"$><$MTEntryTitle dirify="1"$>.html

Pesach Food Spotlight - T. Abraham's Crispy-O's

Over the past ten years, the Kosher for Pesach world has made strong developments in many areas. The breakfast cereal department, however, seems to have been left woefully behind, and not for lack of trying. The original breakfast cereal deemed "good enough" for Passover, T. Abraham's Crispy-O's, were so dreadfully horrible, it's amazing they were around for a second year. Alas, the newer "improved" versions came out again the next year, and we've been treated to their throat-scratching goodness ever since.

In their current manifestation, Crispy-O's are availabe in three different flavors, that don't mix (trust us, we've tried). There's Original (or, "yellow"), Chocolate and Fruity. All three have the same sandpaper-like consistency when eaten dry; add milk, and within seconds they transform into a bowl of mush. Amazingly, almost none of the coloring used to "flavor" the cereals dissolves into the milk. We're not sure if this is good, or very, very bad.

As with all Passover products, it's important to read the advertising on the box for subtle clues. In Crispy-O's case, we are informed that the product contains, "No Fat. No Cholesterol." A quick perusal of the Nutritional Information reveals that, besides lacking fat and cholesterol, Crispy-O's are completely devoid of any nutritional value. No vitamins, no minerals, no nothing. Cardboard would be healthier, and probably taste better, too.

Further proving that Pesach food is impervious to the logics of marketing, Crispy-O's Fruity Flavor is endorsed by a somewhat deformed bovine creature (not pictured here, fortuneatly). Kids are surely drawn to his blank, zombie-like stare, just as we seem to be drawn towards any food, no matter how inedible, that bears a Kosher for Passover sign.

Goodbye Preakness

[via TheBaltiBlog]

Maryland Gov. Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. is pushing for a state-owned $400 million racetrack and slot machine parlor in downtown Baltimore that would serve as the new home of the Preakness Stakes as part of his effort to break a political stalemate over legalized gambling.

I could care less where they move it, so long as it's out of Park Heights. Preakness weekend, for Orthodox Jews that live along Greenspring Avenue, invariably involves the hurling of at least one alcohol-fueled anti-semitic epithet and several empty beer bottles.

On Vice Did He Act

Like all good culture sheep, I started reading The Da Vinci Code over the holiday. I'm about 200 pages in, and so far I'm having a good time. The writing is so-so; this guy is no Stephen King, but he does a good job. I like the book's mingling of fact and fiction; in some ways, it reminds me of the AI web game, only much less interactive. I checked out the website of Opus Dei (actually, I went to the ODAN website, a watchdog group), as well as a few sites about the Priory of Sion.

Here's a question: anyone notice the similarity in the knotting of the Discipline and Sephardi tzitzit? I can't find a picture, but the tying process is described here: "A Sephardic tying adds another dimension to the pattern: each time the shammash is brought around, take it under the previous wind before winding it further. This will produce a curving ridge around the tzitzit." Where is Babani when you need him?

Title created with Anagram Generator.

Pesach Food Spotlights - Bissli

Today's Pesach Food Spotlight falls on that little Israeli snack food that could, Bissli - Smokey Flavor!

For those unfamiliar with the popular Israeli snack food line, Bissli is Israel's answer to the Potato Chip. Available in all shapes, sizes and flavors, the hard-hats over at the Osem factory must have worked well into the late afternoon to come up with the substance used as the basis for all Bissli snack "foods". Their unique coarse texture, saturated in delicious Palm Oil, combined with the unmistakable crunch (and subsequent jaw ache) that accompanies every bite, make Bissli a must-try for any serious aficionado of Middle Eastern cuisine. The Smokey Flavor comes in tube shapes, which, upon mastication, collapse quite nicely, causing little gum or palate damage (as opposed to Pizza Wheels, which should not be allowed on airplanes). One would be wise to adhere to the warning emblazoned on all Bissli food products: "Protect from Sun." We're still trying to figure out if they mean the food, or those that ate the food.

So check out Bissli products; "Kosher for Passover, and all year round!"

Stay tuned for more Pesach Food Spotlights, from my lunch.

Quick

Minutes to go before Yom Tov; Quick thoughts:

Nathan rocks.

Go Cahan!

See ya on Wed. night!

Cafe 921 at the Pikes

There's a new restaurant in town; Cafe 921, located in the old Pikes Theatre on Resiterstown Road, opened last week for a "sneak preview." Cafe 921 is an upscale (as Baltimore Kosher goes), sit-down dairy restaurant, run by the same folks that own The Brassiere.

I went twice over the last two weeks, and both times came away pretty pleased. They've got brick over pizza, good soups, a make-your-own salad bar (with a weird topping menu - too complicated), as well as fresh calzones, wraps and fish dishes. It appears that Menash, the chef from The Brassiere, will be spending some time over at Cafe 921.

The preview was basically self-serve, but after Pesach the full menu will be available, along with waiters to take your order. And they have a bar; Lonnie told me they'll be open Saturday nights. Hopefully they'll keep the riff-raff out so we can hang out, drink beer and wax philosophic. Should be interesting.

The price is a bit steep for your average lunch (my order of a grilled eggplant wrap, small minestrone soup and iced tea came to $10.17). I'm going to experiment with the menu to find the perfect $6.50 lunch; a combination of soup and salad should do the trick.

All in all, I'm impressed (although, I'm still holding out for a Ref Heifer Baltimore branch).

New Maimonides Book

Dr. Chip Manekin (the Rambam scholar I was looking for) just published a book entitled "On Maimonides," available at the end of the month. From the Amazon description, it looks to be a short (less than 100 page) overview/introduction to Rambam's thought. It's on my wishlist, and I'll try to write up a summary after I read it.