Presence

We had another Twain meeting last night (for a quick refresher as to what Twain is, see my first post on the subject). The topic of discussion was Diversity. A panel of three speakers presented us with their various understandings on diversity within the Jewish community. We heard from a woman who was probably in her late 40's/early 50's and was single, never married, no kids. She recounted some of her experiences moving to Baltimore, how she felt ostracized and outside the community since she was not married and did not have children. Dr. Barry Lever spoke about his son's intermarriage, and how it had affected his family. Finally, R. Shimon Apisdorf, an Orthodox author from a non-Orthodox family, discussed how he balances his absolute value of "no intermarriage" with the absolute value on family, in the context of his sister's wedding to a non-Jewish man.

We then broke for discussions. As most of the speakers spoke about diversity in the context of intermarriage, our group discussion focused mostly on intermarriage, not so much on diversity (what are we going to do for the Intermarriage session?). We discussed education, and its importance in instilling a strong Jewish identity to children. Baltimore, it seems, understands this, with the recent openings of a non-denominational Jewish high school. The Associated, on the other hand, hasn't quite got the message, as it still allocates a practically insignificant percentage of its funds to Baltimore educational institutions.

A woman in my group told an interesting story. Her son was engaged to a girl who the family thought was not Jewish. The rabbi of the Conservative synagogue refused to perform a ceremony, as is the common practice in Conservative congregations. Then, the family did a little research and found that the girl was in fact Jewish; her mother's mother had married a Catholic, and sublimated her Jewish roots. According to Jewish law, this made the girl Jewish, and acceptable for marriage. The family rejoiced, and everyone lived happily ever after.

This story struck me as odd. The family, in a sense, got lucky. But who cares? Their grandchildren aren't going to be better off; chances are they will receive scant Jewish education, which will put them right back in the situation their parents were in. When it comes time for the Twain meeting on intermarriage, I hope they make a point to discuss not only the halachic (legal) aspects of intermarriage, but also the philospohy behind it. Why do we want to marry other Jews? Why not intermarry? I have a hard time believing it is a numbers game. Off the cuff, I would say it has to do with a historical identification with the mission of the Jewish people (I need more time to think about this). While I was happy for this woman that her family was not broken apart, a part of me thought her problems were far from over.

Anyhow, we didn't discuss diversity too much, which is a shame, as I think it is an important topic. Next time, the speakers should focus their presentations around the main topic, so as not to lead the participants astray.

The next Twain meeting is next week (due to the holiday season, they are close together). The topic: The Shema. Stay tuned.