Presence

I started reviewing Sotah, the section of the Talmud dealing with the itinerant wife (My chavrusah and I are currently in the third chapter). The tractate opens with a discussion of how a jealous husband goes about appropriately warning his wife to keep away from a specific person.

The Talmud infers from the wording of the Mishneh that issuing this warning (kinui) is forbidden. It then follows with a discussion of how Reish Lakish would begin teaching Sotah:

א"ר שמואל בר רב יצחק כי הוה פתח ריש לקיש בסוטה אמר הכי אין מזווגין לו לאדם אשה אלא לפי מעשיו שנא' (תהילים קכה) כי לא ינוח שבט הרשע על גורל הצדיקים אמר רבה בר בר חנה אמר ר' יוחנן וקשין לזווגן כקריעת ים סוף שנאמר (תהילים סח) אלהים מושיב יחידים ביתה מוציא אסירים בכושרות איני והא אמר רב יהודה אמר רב ארבעים יום קודם יצירת הולד בת קול יוצאת ואומרת בת פלוני לפלוני בית פלוני לפלוני שדה פלוני לפלוני לא קשיא הא בזוג ראשון הא בזוג שני

Says R. Shmuel Bar Yitzchak, "When Reish Lakish would begin [teaching] Sotah, he would say this: A person is only matched [i.e. married] to a woman according to his deeds, as it says (Psalms 125) 'The scepter of the evil will not rest in the portion of the righteous.' Says Rabbah Bar Bar Channah in the name of R. Yochanan: And their pairing is as difficult as parting of the [Red] Sea, as it says (Psalms 68): 'God returns individuals to their homes, He frees the prisoners in distress.' Is that so? For R. Yehudah says in the name of Rav: 'Forty days before the creation of a child, a voice from Heaven cries out, 'So and so will marry so and so, the house of so and so will go to so and so, the field such and such will go to so and so'. [This is not a contradiction], rather, [the latter] refers to one's first match, while [the former] refers to one's second match. [Translation is my own]

This entire dialogue, including the statement that Sotah is a forbidden practice, is all included in one paragraph of the Talmud (Sotah 2A). When I first learned it through, I was unsure of a connection between the two statements. Rather, they appeared to be simply lumped together. Upon reexamining them this morning, however, I think I have a better understanding of how the two statements are related.

Reish Lakish is essentially advocating a view that everything that happens to us is due to our deeds, our merit. If we have a bad wife, it is because we deserved it. Reish Lakish's view is that the world is ordered, by God, and that justice will always be done.

The second view (which is quoted in the name of R. Yochanan, the traditional 'bar plugta' of Reish Lakish) presents a different view of the world. There are things that, when we are born into this world, over which we have no control. Certain facts, established well before we are born, determine for us the outcome of certain things in our life. Rashi brings the famous statement Aggadata, that before each child is conceived, the Angel in charge of conception brings each seed before God, and it is decreed if the child will be strong or weak, rich or poor, wise or stupid. It is not, however, decreed whether or not the child will be Good or Evil, for only man can decide this. This, Rashi says, is what is called Mazel (interesting corrallary to this would be the Gemara at the end of Moed Kattan. Not to mention, "Ain Mazel L'Yisrael").

With this understanding, I believe the passage makes sense as a whole. The Talmud states that ideally, it is forbidden to issue the Sotah warning to your wife. Reish Lakish is brought in support of this, since each person is only given a wife according to his merit. His situation is obviously his own doing, so he must learn to live with it. R. Yochanan's opinion is brought as a challenge. Whom one is married to is decreed by Mazel, and their is nothing one can do to control it. Why should one sit back and let Mazel make his life miserable? Let him take control of his own life.

Now the Talmud's answer makes even more sense, beyond a simply apologetic accomadation of both views. One's first wife is decided by Mazel. If all goes well, good, and if not, should he decide to take the reins and decide his own future, then his next wife is granted to him according to his merit. God even goes to the trouble of 'parting the Seas' (subverting the laws of nature) to make the match. In this case, once a person is taking control of his own life, the Sotah procedure is forbidden (since it is essentially one turning over the decision to God), as this person has shown prior to that he can make decisions and take control.

There is a lot more here to be discussed, but this is all for now. I will note that the themes and questions of God's justice are prevalent throughout Sotah (at least the first two chapters, anyway). As I continue my review, I'll try and focus on this aspect, since I think it is ultimately the main point of the tractate and represents what this commandment is really trying to teach us.